You’ve probably already heard the news, patriots. Netflix, the company long associated with the Obamas, has gone fully woke and donated $7 million to the Kamala Harris campaign. In return, the American people canceled subscriptions at an alarming rate and the company lost billions in market cap overnight.

Unfortunately, there’s no credible source to back any of the stories up. We asked Netflix Director of Democrat Propaganda, Joe Barron, and he told us he’s questioning the whole thing.

“I’m not so much questioning it as calling it complete and utter bullhonkey,” said Barron, “Netflix couldn’t care less if the MAGA cult that swore they canceled their subscriptions because Obama swear they’re canceling them again. These aren’t serious people. They’re morons.”

I think he was calling us names, patriots, but there’s no way to know for sure. He may think we don’t matter, but little does he know, we only canceled them last time in spirit, like when we boycotted the NFL except for on Sundays. And sometimes Mondays. And the occasional Thursday night game.

Netflix is finding out the hard way that when your co-founder makes a private donation that has nothing to do with the company, idiots will make them pay with fictional boycotts of something they don’t have because it’s not on basic cable or Dish Network. “Boomer TV isn’t our area,” said Barron, “We simply don’t care.”

That’s a bold take, patriots. It should be fun to watch them go broke. God Bless America.